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MIAM · the other parent

Who needs a MIAM, and do both parties attend?

The person who applies to court about children or money needs a MIAM, unless an exemption applies[1][2]. Do both parties have to attend a MIAM? The other parent is expected to attend their own, but the rules do not force them to[3][4]. If they do not, the applicant can still apply[5].

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Typical MIAM cost, each[6]
For both, if either gets legal aid[7]
A MIAM counts for[8]

01/ Who needs one

Who needs a MIAM

The legal duty is on the person making the application: section 10 of the Children and Families Act 2014 requires attendance at a MIAM before making a "relevant family application"[1][10]. Those are applications to start the children and financial remedy proceedings that Practice Direction 3A lists[2]:

  • child arrangements orders and other section 8 orders, parental responsibility orders, orders about a child's guardian, permission to change a child's surname or remove a child from the UK, special guardianship orders, and orders varying or ending these[11];
  • financial orders on divorce or dissolution, such as lump sum, property adjustment and pension sharing orders, financial provision for children under Schedule 1 to the Children Act 1989, and orders for failure to maintain[12].

The application must include either a mediator's confirmation that the applicant attended a MIAM or a claimed exemption[13]. See what is a MIAM for what happens in the meeting.

02/ When not

When no MIAM is needed

No MIAM is needed to ask the court to approve an agreement as a consent order, about children or money[11][12]. The divorce application itself is in neither list, so you do not need a MIAM to get divorced[14].

An applicant also does not need one if an exemption applies, for example with evidence of domestic abuse, where a child is at risk of harm, in an urgent case, or after a MIAM or other ways of agreeing in the last 4 months[15]. It is also an exemption if a child is one of the parties[16]. See MIAM exemptions for the full list.

03/ Both parties

Do both parties have to attend a MIAM?

Not by law, but the court expects it: Practice Direction 3A says the person who would be the respondent (the person the application is made against) is expected to attend a MIAM, with the applicant or separately, usually with the same mediator[3][14][4]. The applicant should give the mediator the other person's contact details so they can be invited[3].

The courts' own guide to mediation says attendance of respondents is "expected and encouraged", and that the April 2024 rule changes reinforce the message that all parties are expected to attend a MIAM unless exempt[10]. Even so, the FMC reports that about a third of potential mediation cases cannot go ahead because the second person chooses not to attend[4].

If you want to use the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, the government's guidance says both of you will need to attend a MIAM before mediation, together or separately[17]. See the voucher scheme.

If the other parent applies for a child arrangements or other section 8 order, the judge will expect you to have attended a MIAM too, unless the same specific circumstances apply[18]. You reply on the acknowledgement form within 14 days of receiving the application[19].

Before the first hearing, Cafcass or Cafcass Cymru carries out safeguarding checks, which can include a phone call with each of you[20]. See what happens after a C100.

04/ Invited

If a mediator has invited you

If your ex-partner has contacted a mediator, that mediator may ask you to attend a MIAM; the Family Mediation Council calls this a standard part of the process[25]. It advises checking the mediator is FMC registered, then contacting them to discuss the invitation or book[25].

You would usually see the same mediator, but you can choose a different FMC-registered mediator, for example if they do not offer legal aid and you are eligible, or you know them[25]. MIAMs are held separately with each person, and there is a strong presumption against back-to-back meetings[26][27].

What you say stays confidential: the mediator must not share information from your MIAM, and if mediation is not going ahead, the only reason they give anyone else is that it is not suitable at the present time[28].

If a mediator has contacted you

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05/ If they will not

If the other person does not attend

If you attend a MIAM and your ex-partner does not, you can still apply to court[5][15]. The mediator can tick on the form that the other party has not attended a MIAM[33][34].

If the other person is contacted and does not reply, or says no, the mediator may tell you if it is safe to do so, but any reason they give stays confidential[35].

Once a case is in court, the court must consider at every stage whether non-court dispute resolution is appropriate, and each party can be asked to set out their views on Form FM5[36][37]. The rules do not let the court require anyone to take part in mediation, but it may take a failure to attend into account on costs[36].

If an exemption was not validly claimed, the court can direct the applicant, or both parties, to attend a MIAM and adjourn the case[14]. In children cases a MIAM can also be ordered as an activity under the Children Act 1989[10].

06/ Safety

If it is not safe

FMC standards require mediators to assess safety at a MIAM, taking into account domestic abuse of all kinds, and not to mediate where it is not safe or suitable[38]. If you do not want the other parent contacted, for example for safety reasons, tell the mediator: they should not put pressure on you to change your mind[35].

An applicant with evidence of domestic abuse, in one of the forms the rules list, can claim an exemption instead of attending[39]. See domestic abuse support and when mediation is not suitable.

07/ Cost

Who pays for the MIAM

Each ex-partner attends, and pays for, their own MIAM, typically £120–£150 per person[6]. If either of you qualifies for legal aid, the MIAM is free, and legal aid covers the MIAM and first mediation session for both of you[7]. If neither of you is eligible, the mediator agrees with you how the cost is met[40].

The mediation voucher does not cover the MIAM itself[41]. More on MIAM cost.

08/ Later

If you later apply yourself

A MIAM you attended as the respondent can support your own later application: the C100 and Form A ask for its date and the mediator's name and contact details[42][34]. The recent-MIAM exemption covers a MIAM in the 4 months before you apply[8]. See the MIAM expiry checker.

09/ Questions

Frequently asked questions

Who needs a MIAM?

The person applying to court for most children or financial orders, unless an exemption applies[1][2]. The other party is expected to attend too[3].

Do both parties have to attend a MIAM?

The respondent is expected to attend, but Practice Direction 3A does not require it[4]. If they do not, the applicant can still apply[5].

Do we go to the MIAM together?

Practice Direction 3A allows either, but FMC standards require MIAMs to be held separately with each person[3][26].

Do I need a MIAM to respond to a C100?

The legal duty is on the applicant[1][10]. The judge will still expect you to have attended one unless the same circumstances apply[18].

Do I need a MIAM to get divorced?

No. The divorce application is not one of the applications the MIAM requirement covers[14].

Can I see a different mediator from my ex?

Yes, as long as they are FMC registered; the FMC suggests explaining why[25].

Is what I say at a MIAM confidential?

Yes. Mediators must not share it, and the only reason they give the court is that mediation is not suitable at the present time[28].

10/ Sources

Sources we checked

  1. legislation.gov.uk — CFA 2014 s10
  2. Family Procedure Rules, Part 3 — Ministry of Justice · Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  3. Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  4. The State of Family Mediation 2025 — Family Mediation Council
  5. GOV.UK — mediation · FPR r3.9
  6. GOV.UK — mediation · FMC State of Family Mediation 2025 (PDF)
  7. GOV.UK — mediation
  8. FPR Part 3, r3.8(1)(d)
  9. FMC MIAM Standards (Aug 2022) PDF
  10. Family mediation in England and Wales: a guide for the courts (2024), the MIAM — Family Justice Council and Family Mediation Council
  11. Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  12. Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  13. FPR Part 3, r3.7
  14. Practice Direction 3A, paras 1, 11–13 and 37 — justice.gov.uk · What to do before applying for a financial order when you get divorced — Advicenow
  15. Apply for a court order: who can apply and MIAMs — GOV.UK
  16. FPR r3.8
  17. Family Mediation Voucher Scheme — Ministry of Justice, GOV.UK
  18. What is a MIAM? — Family Mediation Council
  19. Practice Direction 12B, paras 8.11–8.12 and 14.2 — Child Arrangements Programme, justice.gov.uk
  20. Practice Direction 12B, paras 13.1–13.6 — Child Arrangements Programme, justice.gov.uk
  21. Family Procedure Rules, Part 3 — Ministry of Justice · Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  22. justice.gov.uk FPR updates · SI 2023/1324
  23. Before applying for a financial order: the process to follow — Advicenow
  24. Family Procedure Rules, Part 7, rule 7.7 — justice.gov.uk · Form D10 (05.24), acknowledgment of service, PDF — HMCTS
  25. My ex has been to see a mediator: what do I do? — Family Mediation Council
  26. FMC MIAM Standards (Aug 2022) PDF
  27. Standards for MIAMs (August 2022) — Family Mediation Council
  28. Standards for MIAMs (August 2022) — Family Mediation Council
  29. What is a MIAM? — Family Mediation Council · What does mediation cost? — Family Mediation Council
  30. What is a MIAM? (first meeting, legal aid, next steps) — Family Mediation Council
  31. Family Procedure Rules, Part 3 — Ministry of Justice
  32. GOV.UK — Form C100 page · FMC MIAM Standards (Aug 2022) PDF
  33. Form C100 (06.26), section 4 — HMCTS
  34. Form A (05.26), PDF — HMCTS
  35. Good Practice Guidance for MIAMs (July 2024): inviting the other person — Family Mediation Council
  36. Family Procedure Rules, Part 3 — Ministry of Justice · Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  37. GOV.UK — Form FM5 · Practice Direction 3A — justice.gov.uk
  38. FMC MIAM Standards (Aug 2022), PDF — Family Mediation Council
  39. FPR r3.8 · PD3A
  40. Practice Direction 3A — Ministry of Justice
  41. GOV.UK — mediation · FMC — Mediation vouchers
  42. Form C100 (06.26), sections 2 and 3 — HMCTS

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